Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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