WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
