Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How does it feel to date your dad?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
