omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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