**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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