My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
