then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
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Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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