you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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