I want you more than these girls want KFC
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The air taste purple.
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