I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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