I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
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She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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