I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
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My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
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I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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