Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Mom said you looked used
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
