We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
