You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
and she was petting her beer can
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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