dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
