"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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