U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
