my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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