The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
