At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
