I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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