I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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