Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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