Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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