his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
