weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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