is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
