this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
