you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
