1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
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