Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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