Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
