dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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