At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize