drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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