I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
