Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
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Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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