My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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