Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
