it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
