he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
