Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
