Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
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Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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