very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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