I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
