I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
