I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
