Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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