I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
