i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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