I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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