He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
