She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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