The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
