I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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