We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
