I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
