Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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