i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
