allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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