had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
