Fuck appropriateness.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
